UK blocks online porn, Canada is next

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David Cameron's Great Idea
David Cameron's Great Idea

Oh Boy. You have to give David Cameron credit. In a strong showing of his government’s crackdown on child porn, he decided to save children all over the world from abuse by simply turning off all the porn. It’s such a simple idea and thought that it’s surprising that no one else has ever thought of this.

The UK Prime Minister is vowing to get tough on child pornography by requiring that every new computer be installed with porn filters. All ISP’s will be filtering all porn for their new customers. To get porn on your computer, you will have to contact the ISP and request it!

Imagine calling up your ISP to opt-in:

ISP: Thank you for calling Rogers Internet how may I help you today?

Caller: Yes, I’d like to get porn on my computer please.

ISP: Sorry sir, I didn’t hear you, did you say you wanted PORN?

Caller: Uhhh…….. yes?

ISP: OK, Great sir, now I’ll just need you to state your consent by recording your request. After the beep, please say, “Your name, your age, and your porn preference”. Sir, don’t worry, your info is kept private and stored in the Canadian National Registry of Porn Watchers.

Caller: Uhhh…. you know what I meant CORN, can I get some CORN please?

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ……

For years, companies have tried to create one parental block and filter after the other, and yet none have succeeded in creating a product that completely eradicates porn, but yet here was our man, the UK’s most intelligent, and its leader David Cameron. To stop the porn, you just have to press the red button that says “OFF”. As simple as Confucius and simultaneously as complex.

Now Joy Smith, Winnipeg MP, and champion of child protection in Canada must have caught wind of this and decided Canada needs an “OFF” button for porn as well. She’s very excited and is keen to be getting our PM, Stephen Harper on the boat. Although Joy Smith hasn’t come up with any strategy other than saying that David Cameron’s idea is a great one, she will be lobbying hard for an “OFF” button for Canada as well. No word on if the button will be manufactured in China or Canada yet.

Child pornography has no place in the world and exists only in the depth of the sickest minds. Genocide has no place in this world and also exist only in the depths of the sickest minds. But as terrible as these two horrors are, they do exist and it is because someone with a sick thought decided to put those thoughts into action. So while David Cameron and Joy Smith should both be supported on their stance on child porn and abuse, their solution is similar to when Wile E. Coyote draws those black holes on the streets and expects the Roadrunner to fall through it. It’s a solution made up by someone who doesn’t even understand the problem, but is instead grandstanding behind the notion that they are saving your children. It’s the loud guy that talks a lot but never does anything.

If you would think with an open mind, you would notice that convicted pedophiles usually surprise you. They are the person you would’ve last thought to be one. Take a look at Benjamin Levin, a Liberal education leader who was part of Ontario premiere Kathleen Wynne’s team. Here was a man who was an inspirational leader and yet was harboring a secret sick hobby. There’s a reason why he was able to indulge in his hobby for so long. And that’s because he was careful, secretive and used ways to transmit and receive the sickening material without detection.

Law enforcement agencies have been fighting child porn makers for decades and with new software and encryption always coming out, it’s quite funny to hear that David Cameron plans to stop porn by filtering it out. Video game makers fought with gamers tooth and nail to keep them from pirating games and yet this happens still. To put it simply, porn or anything that people want can’t be stop. People will always find a way around it. Especially if you think that putting up a “Do Not Enter” sign is going to make them stop.

David Cameron’s response to ISPs who protested the complexity of such a requirement left them hanging by saying if Internet companies “have worked out how to map almost every inch of the Earth from space,” they should be able to figure out how to develop a “blacklist of horrific terms.” There you have it. David Cameron, making the difficult things in life very simple. I wonder if he meant the Internet companies as in the Internet Service Providers, or did he mean the bottomless money pit corporations such as Google, Yahoo, and Microsoft.

In effect, David Cameron has decided to ban porn and he doesn’t care how it gets done, he just wants it done. Even if you had to dig a hole in the Sahara and bury all the porn in the world in a giant pit then that’s what you should do.

David Cameron and Joy Smith also have very little interest in what the rest of the people want. The adults of Canada and UK, that want the freedom of watching regular porn. And really what is regular porn anyways? Where do you draw the line here. What about all the granny porn? That stuff is pretty distasteful if you ask me. Anytime the government starts regulating what you can watch, the noose begins to feel a little tighter around our necks.

The porn industry has changed dramatically because of the Internet. What was once a medium that you had to buy in CD, DVD, VHS format, you now can go to any of the hundreds of thousands of porn sites and watch them for free. You could even get a subscription for any of your fetishes. The legal porn industry has amazingly survived this sudden shift of revenue and has adapted to continue making money through subscription services and maintaining marketing through the free web sites. So it’s not porn that is the problem here.

It’s the illegal child porn produced by underground persons who are sinister and hold no regard to children, their innocence, and their well being. These groups of people use their ego, perversity, and their money to find ways around the law. They have no fear of the law and sometimes they end up being people who are the ones in power. Imagine banning people from going to church because some priests have turned out to be pedophiles. What would Mr. Cameron or Mrs. Joy Smith have to say about about that?

The government likes to ban things to keep its illusion of power. They banned alcohol and people still got drunk and killed each other. They banned marijuanna and people still got high and people still got killed (see Mexico). So what’s next? Why the heck not? Let’s ban that porn Mr. Cameron. We’ll get right on that tomorrow.

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